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"They say they wanted to have someone who would look into their eyes and make them feel sexy again." Every affair is different, and so are every woman's reasons for her involvement.

Nevertheless, Rutgers University biological anthropologist Helen Fisher, author of Why Him? and Why We Love, says men are more likely to cite sexual motivations for infidelity and are less likely to fall in love with an extramarital partner.

When Thea and her husband moved to Los Angeles a few years ago, she had no friends close by and was alone frequently while her husband worked long hours.

Though Thea says her husband was the "best friend someone could have," the spark and sex were gone.

Reilly says her clinical experience has shown that affairs are almost always caused by problems in the marriage.

Therapy may be helpful to avoid going down that path.

"He was giving me all of the stuff my husband wasn't -- attention and affection," she says.

There are many reasons for infidelity such as revenge, boredom, the thrill of sexual novelty, sexual addiction.

Although she sees a number of couples grappling with infidelity, "more people come to me [before it happens] because they want to save their marriage." Women are also less likely than men to have an affair that "just happens," because they tend to think longer and harder about the situation, experts say.

She says she was living with a lot of disillusionment in a disappointing, sexless marriage.

"You feel the loss of your dreams and hopes and how you thought things would turn out," Diane says.

But experts say that a large majority of the time, motivations differ by gender, with men searching for more sex or attention and women looking to fill an emotional void.

"Women tell me, 'I was lonely, not connected, I didn't feel close to my partner, and I was taken for granted,'" marriage and family therapist Winifred Reilly says.

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